Is Positive Parenting Effective in 2024?

Published: 8.9.22

Updated: 25.7.24

Unsure if positive parenting is the right choice for you?

Positive parenting is a great way to raise children who are respectful, responsible and happy. 

It can be tough to know where to start with all of the different techniques out there, so we’ve put together this guide to help you get started on the right foot.

If you're looking for a way to improve your relationship with your child, positive parenting could be the answer.

What Is Positive Parenting?

Positive parenting has taken some flak in recent times - the assumption that this type of parenting is "ineffective" and "letting your kids get away with murder" has proven a little hard to squash.

However, positive parenting is simply a name for a set of tools and techniques that aim to build strong relationships between parents and children, based on mutual respect.

Positive parenting is not about being pushovers or doormats - it's about setting clear boundaries and expectations while also providing love, support and encouragement.

Related: The 5 Digital Parenting Rules That REALLY Matter

Why Use Positive Parenting?

A growing number of parents have started to adopt positive parenting techniques in recent years, and it’s easy to see why.

Benefits of positive parenting include:

Improved parent-child communication

Communication in relationships is key, and this is especially true for parent-child relationships.

Positive parenting techniques encourage parents to communicate with their children in a way that is respectful and understanding.

This can help to improve communication overall, as well as reducing conflict.

Increased cooperation from your child

When children feel respected and understood, they are more likely to cooperate with their parents.

This can make day-to-day life a lot easier for everyone involved! It can also help to reduce problem behaviours in children, as well as promoting pro-social behaviours such as empathy and cooperation.

Greater self-esteem and confidence in your child

Instilling self-esteem and confidence in your child is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.

Being able to do so in such a way that it is understood that making mistakes is okay, and that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses helps your child to become a much more well-rounded individual.

A stronger parent-child bond

One of the most wonderful things about positive parenting is that it can help to strengthen the bond between parent and child.

When children feel respected and supported, they are more likely to reciprocate these feelings.

This can lead to a much more positive and supportive relationship that can weather the storms of life much better.

Reduced stress for both you and your child

Parenting can be a stressful job, there’s no doubting that. However, positive parenting techniques can help to reduce stress for both parents and children.

When communication is improved and cooperation increased, it can take a lot of the pressure off.

What’s more, a strong parent-child bond can provide a great source of support during difficult times.

Positive parenting is a great way to build strong relationships with your children and promote their overall wellbeing.

If you’re interested in giving it a try, there are plenty of resources available to help you get started.

Positive Parenting Consequences

Despite the benefits, positive parenting is not without its critics.

Some people argue that this type of parenting can have negative consequences, such as:

• Permissive parenting: When parents are too lenient with their children, it can lead to problems with discipline down the line. Children who are not used to hearing the word “no” may find it harder to accept when they need to obey rules or limits.
• Indulgent parenting: Indulging your child’s every whim can lead to them becoming spoiled and entitled. It can also make it difficult for them to deal with disappointment later in life.
• Uninvolved parenting: While it’s important to give your child space to grow and explore, too much independence can lead to problems. Uninvolved parenting can cause children to feel neglected and unimportant, leading to behavioural issues.

Positive parenting is not without its critics, but the benefits seem to outweigh the negatives.

If you’re interested in giving it a try, there are plenty of resources out there to help you get started.

Why Is Positive Parenting Important?

Positive parenting is important because to some, it stands in pretty stark contrast to the kind of parenting that they grew up with - it might have been very authoritarian, with parents who were very hands-off.

Or, in other cases, it may have been neglectful. So to them, the idea of positive parenting just seems like a complete 180 from what they grew up with.

Either way, it creates important dialogues about why this approach to parenting is so important.

Some people may view positive parenting as permissive, but that simply isn't the case.

Positive parenting is based on the idea of working with your child, rather than against them.

It's about teaching them how to make good decisions and being there for them when they need guidance, rather than trying to control their every move.

Positive parenting also teaches children how to deal with disappointment and setbacks in a healthy way.

They learn that it's okay to make mistakes and that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.

This helps them to become more well-rounded individuals who are better equipped to deal with the challenges of life.

Positive parenting focuses on nurturing good behaviour, building strong relationships, and fostering healthy development through encouragement, support, and clear boundaries.

This method promotes self-esteem, emotional intelligence, and overall well-being.

Key principles include:

1. Building strong relationships: Spending quality time, actively listening, and showing affection helps create secure attachments and fosters trust.

2. Setting clear boundaries: Consistent rules and expectations help children understand acceptable behaviour, communicated lovingly and firmly without harsh punishments.

3. Encouraging positive behaviour: Reinforcing and praising good behaviour helps develop intrinsic motivation.

4. Using effective communication: Active listening, expressing empathy, and encouraging open dialogue make children feel understood and valued.

5. Promoting independence: Supporting children's autonomy and allowing age-appropriate decisions build confidence and problem-solving skills.

6. Leading by example: Modeling desired behaviour and values demonstrates effective emotional regulation and coping strategies.

Examples of positive parenting techniques:

• Toddlers: Calmly acknowledge tantrums, offering comfort and discussing feelings.
• School-age children: Create a bedtime routine chart together, allowing choice in task order.
• Teenagers: Involve them in curfew decisions, asking for input and explaining concerns to reach mutual agreement.

Benefits of positive parenting include:

• Improved behaviour and reduced problems
• Enhanced emotional regulation and social skills
• Increased self-esteem and confidence
• Stronger parent-child relationships
• Better academic performance
• Reduced risk of depression and other mental health issues

Positive parenting is about creating a supportive, loving environment for children to thrive while learning important life skills.

By focusing on encouragement, clear communication, and consistent boundaries, it helps raise resilient, confident, and well-adjusted individuals.

Implementing Positive Parenting Techniques

Positive parenting focuses on nurturing good behaviour, building strong relationships, and fostering a child's healthy development through encouragement, support, and clear boundaries.

Here are practical ways to implement positive parenting techniques in your daily life:

1. Use PRIDE skills

   • Praise: Offer specific praise for good behaviours to reinforce them.
   • Reflection: Repeat back what your child says to show you're listening and understanding.
   • Imitation: Copy your child's positive actions to encourage them.
   • Description: Describe what your child is doing to show interest and attention.
   • Enjoyment: Show genuine enthusiasm during interactions with your child.

2. Provide choices and encourage independence

   • Offering limited choices can help avoid power struggles and promote a sense of autonomy. For example:
     • "Do you want to brush your teeth first or put on your pajamas?"
     • "Would you like to wear your pajamas inside out or right side out?"

3. Set clear boundaries and expectations

   • Establish consistent rules and communicate them clearly to your child. This helps them understand what is acceptable behaviour and creates a sense of security.

4. Focus on positive reinforcement

   • Instead of punishing negative behaviour, emphasise and reward good behaviour. This approach encourages children to repeat positive actions.

5. Practice active listening and open communication

   • Create an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their emotions, both positive and negative. Use active listening skills to show you value their thoughts and feelings.

6. Lead by example

   • Model the behaviour and values you want to see in your children. This includes demonstrating effective emotional regulation and problem-solving skills.

7. Create a positive learning environment

   • Encourage curiosity and learning by providing opportunities for exploration and experimentation in a safe, supervised setting.

8. Implement consistent routines

   • Establish regular routines for activities like bedtime, meals, and homework. This helps create structure and predictability for children.

9. Practice self-care

   • Remember to take care of yourself as a parent. When you're in a good emotional state, you're better equipped to handle parenting challenges positively.

10. Use time-ins instead of time-outs

    • When your child misbehaves, try sitting with them to discuss their feelings and behaviour instead of isolating them in a time-out.

11. Adjust techniques as your child grows

    • Tailor your approach to your child's developmental stage. What works for a toddler may need to be adapted for a teenager.

By consistently applying these positive parenting techniques, you can create a nurturing environment that promotes your child's emotional, social, and cognitive development.

Remember that positive parenting is a journey, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way.

The key is to maintain a loving, supportive approach while providing clear guidance and boundaries for your child.

FAQ's:

Which parenting best encourages children's independence?

Positive parenting is the most effective in encouraging children's independence. This type of parenting teaches children how to make good decisions and be there for them when they need guidance, rather than trying to control their every move. As a result, children learn to become more well-rounded individuals who are better equipped to deal with the challenges of life.

Which parenting style is most encouraged today?

There is no one parenting style that is most encouraged today. Every family is different and what works for one may not work for another. It's important to find what works best for you and your family and to be flexible in your approach.

Is it better to be a strict parent?

No, it is not necessarily better to be a strict parent. Being too strict with your children can lead to problems with discipline down the line. Children who are not used to hearing the word “no” may find it harder to accept when they need to obey rules or limits. It's best to find a balance that works for you and your family.

What are the 3 F's of positive parenting?

They are Firm, fair and friendly. These F's emphasise the importance of being consistent with your children, setting clear boundaries and expectations, and maintaining a positive relationship with them.

Is gentle parenting scientifically proven?

Yes, gentle parenting has been shown to be more effective than other parenting styles in a number of studies. One study even found that gentle parenting can lead to healthier brain development in children.

How do I know if I'm being too soft on my child?

If you find yourself constantly giving in to your child's demands or if you feel like you're walking on eggshells around them, then you may be being too soft. It's important to find a balance that works for you and your family. You should also make sure that you are still setting clear boundaries and expectations.

What is the main difference between authoritarian and positive parenting?

The main difference between authoritarian and positive parenting is that positive parenting is based on the idea of working with your child, rather than against them. It's about teaching them how to make good decisions and being there for them when they need guidance, rather than trying to control their every move.

Is positive parenting the same as gentle parenting?

Yes, they are essentially the same thing. Positive parenting is based on the idea of working with your child, rather than against them. It's about teaching them how to make good decisions and being there for them when they need guidance, rather than trying to control their every move. Gentle parenting is just a more specific term that is often used interchangeably with positive parenting.

Wrapping Up:

Positive parenting is effective, and it’s a style of child-rearing that should be used more often.

It has been shown to result in children who are better adjusted, have healthier relationships, and exhibit greater academic success.

Positive parenting is a great way to raise children, but it takes time and effort.

If you are looking for ways to be a more positive parent, there are plenty of resources available to help you get started.

Remember that being positive doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever they want – it means setting boundaries while also providing love and support.

Are you ready to start using positive parenting techniques in your home?