9 Tips to Help Guide Children's Behaviour

Raising children is one of the most difficult jobs a person can have.

One way to make this task easier is to guide your child's behaviour in a positive direction.

The following five tips will help guide your child's behaviour and set them up for success later in life.

Keep rules simple and easy to understand

The first step is to keep your child's rules simple and easy to understand. It can be very confusing for a young mind if there are too many rules or the rule doesn't make sense. 

For example, telling your children they cannot wear their Halloween costume into the supermarket because it could scare other people doesn't seem quite fair unless you explain that this action might hurt someone else's feelings.

Be firm and consistent in enforcing consequences

Enforcing consequences can sometimes take time as parents have to follow through with what was said, but it is important not to give empty threats to your kids just so they will listen.

If you say 'no', then don't allow them something until they do what has been asked of them without complaining about it.

Say what you mean

Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Be clear with your children about the rules in your house.

If they ask if a specific action is okay, make sure to be as direct as possible by telling them whether or not it will be allowed.

Don't give into status symbols

It can sometimes be easy to fall into giving our kids things because we want them to feel cool and have friends at school, but this shouldn't guide parents' decisions on how their child behaves.

For example, if your child wants a new toy and they are acting out then you shouldn't give it to them because this will guide their behaviour into thinking that throwing a fit is the right way to get things in life.

Be encouraging when they do good

By only focusing on the bad behaviours of our children we can sometimes guide them away from behaving well which isn't fair at all.

Instead, be sure to encourage good behaviour by telling your kids how proud you were when they shared or didn't lose their temper as much as usual last week.

Exercise empathy and guide behaviour with love

Always remember that your child is a human being who has feelings just like you, even when they are doing something wrong or misbehaving - guide their behaviour by guiding them through these difficult times in a loving manner.

Being patient as parents can be very hard at times, but the reward of having children grow up to be great people will make all of those struggles worth it in the end!

Talk with children – not "at" them

If you take the time to guide your children's behaviour by talking with them, then they will grow up knowing how their actions can affect others in a positive or negative way.

Talk with your children about how their behaviour can affect others, and guide them to make better decisions in the future.

Set a good example

Of course, this goes without saying, but if you want your child to do good and make the right decisions then it's important that they don't only see you doing this yourself, but also watching how their other family members behave too.

Encourage children to set good examples for each other

This one is extremely powerful. Encouraging children to set good examples for each other is one of the best tools a parent has at their disposal.

Be sure that you're setting a positive example and encourage your kids to do things like be helpful, share toys quietly with others instead of demanding they get more attention from you, etc. 

If everyone does this as part of family life it can very quickly lead to an amazingly harmonious household!

By encouraging them when they are being kind or doing something helpful we guide them in a better direction than if we didn't say anything about the behaviour which will help us all in the long run.

Encourage children by telling them what behaviours make you proud - not just negative ones!

If you only tell your children when they are doing something wrong, then this is what they will focus on and be more likely to repeat in the future.

Instead, encourage good behaviour by telling them how proud you were of their actions or words last week.

For example: "I was really happy with how well you calmed down after losing those blocks yesterday" or "It's so nice that I don't have to ask you twice to stop playing video games - thank you for doing that." 

Encouraging kids like this can go a long way in guiding them towards being better people!

Be firm and consistent when enforcing consequences

This goes without saying as it should also be done consistently but if parents want their children to stop doing something then they need to be sure that the consequences are firm and in line with their expectations.

Being consistent is a must when enforcing consequences, but being gentle after punishments can go a long way into guiding children's behaviour positively too!

Be sure not to do anything like giving them lots of affection straight away otherwise, you will actually guide their behaviour towards repeating whatever it was that caused this reaction next time around - instead look for other ways of showing your love such as hugs or cuddles at bedtime.

Encourage good behaviours by telling them how proud you were (not just negative ones)

If only we focus on the bad things our kids did then it would lead them down an unhelpful path that isn't fair on them.

Be sure to focus on the good things too, and let your children know how proud you are of their behaviour even if it wasn't perfect!

Give clear, simple choices

When giving children choices it's important that they are given a clear explanation of why this is being done.

Give them simple choices and let them know exactly what the consequences will be if they don't choose one of those options - you'll find they are much more likely to make the right choice!

Giving your children clear, simple directions such as "please get dressed" or "please brush teeth before bedtime" can really help in guiding their behaviour towards having better habits which makes everyone happier in the long run.

Give them a warning before you enforce the consequence 

Sometimes children will need guidance in order to make the right decision. 

Give them a warning before you enforce the consequence and if they continue then be sure that this is something which can't be changed afterwards or else it's not really fair on your kids (such as grounding them when their friends are coming over).

Wrapping Up

By following these tips we can all help guide our children towards being better people!

Giving them a warning before enforcing consequences, encouraging good behaviour by telling how proud of were, consistency while enforcing consequences, giving clear choices and focusing on more positive behaviours than negative ones - follow these simple steps to see big changes for yourself and your family!

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